Funny jokes about winter
Q: Getting a job in the Arctic in the winter is great! Why?
A: When the days get short, you only have to work a 30 minute work week.
Q: Why aren't penguins as lucky as Arctic murres?
A: The poor old penguins can't go south for the winter.
Q: Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
A: You have to hollow out the head.
A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm.
He dropped down into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, and the bird landed in it. At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out!
He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird and ate it
There are three morals to this story:
1. Not everyone who gets you into shit is your enemy
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend
3. If you are in shit, keep your mouth shut
Q. What's a good holiday tip?
A. Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Q. Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?
A. They wear snow caps.
Q. What do they sing under the ocean during the winter?
A. Christmas Corals!