weather forecast jokes

Funny jokes about the weather forecast

John  gets a job as a weatherman in the Far East; however, try as he might, he can never get a forecast right. Eventually he’s sacked and has to fly home. A friend asks why he’s back so soon. John replies, The climate didn’t agree with me.

Probably the last completely accurate forecast was when God told Noah there was a 100 percent chance of precipitation.

You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.

And now, for your extended forecast: "Foorrcaasst"

The TV weather girl said she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, good chance with a face like that!

The CIA lost track of it’s operative in Ireland “Murphy. ” The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning. ” If it’s really him, he’ll answer, “Yes, and for mist at noon as well. ” So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in one of the small towns. He says to the bartender, “Maybe you can help me. I’m looking for a guy named Murphy. ” The bartender replies, “You’re going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There’s Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There’s Murphy the Banker, who’s president of our local savings bank. There’s Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too. ” Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on the bartender, so he says, “The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning. ” The bartender replies, “Oh, you’re looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives right down the street. ”

It is two o'clock in the morning and a husband and his wife are asleep when suddenly the phone rings.

The husband picks up the phone and says, "Hello? How the heck do I know? What am I, the weather man?" promptly slamming the phone down.

His wife rolls over and asks, "Who was that?"

The husband replies, "I don't know, it was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

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