Wayne Rooney jokes

Wayne Rooney jokes

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Rooney.
Rooney who?
Rooney-d a new doorbell.

Why did the 'hare' cross the road?
To avoid being surgically attached to Wayne Rooney's scalp.

Rooney: "Doctor, doctor, I keep overheating during matches because of my new hair."
Doctor: "Try standing next to the fans."

Wayne Rooney walks into a bar. He was playing against a team of midgets.

Wayne Rooney up in court today for stealing Mr Kipling's bakewells from Asda.

His defence lawyer informed the jury Wayne had promised Coleen he wouldn't pay for any more tarts.

Reports are coming in that Wayne Rooney is not on the team bus to Everton today. 
Rooney has paid an escort £1200 to take him instead. 

Fancy a day off? F*ck a prostitute.

This isn't quite what Sir Alex had in mind when he told Wayne to start banging them in again...

Coleen says their marriage is ruined. In fact it's completely Shrecked.

Wayne Rooney shagged a whore
We all thought he couldn't score 
His wife's gonna take his money from the bank 
Next time Wayne just have a w*nk

1.Man City are expected to win the race to sign Wayne Rooney after offering him 230 Grans a week. 

2.Saw a picture of Wayne Rooney's kid in The Sun today. Anyone else think he looked a bit like John Terry? 

3.Apparently Wayne Rooney was deprived as a child. Of oxygen by the looks of it. 

4.Why did Wayne Rooney cross the ball?   Because he's too thick to sign his own name.                         

5. Wayne Rooney is pleased to announce that he's signed up  for a five book deal.........That's an awful lot of crayons he's gonna get through.

6.What have Alex Ferguson and a prostitute got in common?   They both have to pull Wayne Rooney off after a poor performance.

7.Sports Latest - Doctors have just confirmed that Wayne Rooney's hair transplant has rejected his face.                         
8.Wayne Rooney's video game out now: Pre-Evolution Soccer. 

9. Wayne Rooney - "United have won so many trophies I can't count."  He's missing a full stop after trophies there.

– What’s the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.

 

 

– What’s the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.

Rooney wants to go to Juventus - he'll never turn down an approach from an Old Lady

See Wayne Rooney kissed his united badge today too show his loyalty an commitment, abit like when he kisses Coleen before he goes to see a prostitute.

 

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