Toronto Maple Leafs jokes

Funny jokes about the Toronto Maple Leafs


Q. What do you call a Toronto Maple Leafs with a Stanley Cup ring?

A. A thief.


Q: What's the difference between a Toronto Maple Leafs  game and a prize fight?

A: In a hockey game, the fights are real.


Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a Toronto Maple Leafs goalie?


Whey was the Toronto Maple Leafs team arrested?

They killed the clock!


Where do you send someone who doesn't like hockey?

To the Hall of Lame.


Q. What does Toronto Maple Leafs fans do when there team wins the Stanly cup?

A. Turn off there x box


Q: What tea do Toronto Maple Leafs players drink?

A: Penaltea!


At a bar last night; I met this really pretty girl wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs sweater.

I walked up to her and said 'Hi, my name is Three Goal Lead' and the inevitable happened.

Anyone in a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey will blow a three goal lead.


Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and the Titanic have in common?

A: They both look good until they hit the ice!


Why did the Toronto Maple Leafs coach get frustrated when he checked his email?

He had too many forwards!


Q: What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Whales have in common?

A: They both get confused when surrounded by ice.



Q: Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like a training bra?

A: Minimal support and no cups.


The Toronto Maple Leafs coach goes to heaven, where he puts together a team of history's greatest players.

God (the really first hockey player) decides he'd like to play a friendly game against the team from hell.

He phones the devil and asks, "Are you interested in a game of hockey?"

"Why not?" replies the devil. "I'm warning you, though. You'll never win."

"Well, we have the best players of all time!" says God.

"I know," says the devil.

"But we have all the umpires!"


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