Texas jokes

Funny jokes about Texas


Q: Did you hear about the fire in University of Texas's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?

A: The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.


Q: Why couldn't the baby Jesus be born in Texas?

A: Because they couldn't find 3 wise men or a virgin.


Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on a lonesome Texas prarie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins.

The first one says, "I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is. Why, just the other day a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns with my bare hands."

The second cowboy can't stand to be bested. "Why that's nothing. I was walking down the trail yesterday and a fifteen-foot rattlesnake slid out from under a rock and made a move for me. I grabbed that snake with my bare hands, bit its head off and sucked the poison down in one gulp. And I'm still here today."

The third cowboy remained silent, silently stirring the coals with his hands.


The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.


The Texas Department of Safety is cracking down on speeders heading into Dallas. For the first offense, they give you 2 Dallas Cowboy tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.


What's the real difference between a Yankee Zoo and a Texas Zoo? 

On the cage, a Yankee Zoo will have the name of the animal and then the scientific name in Latin. 

Whereas, a Texas Zoo will have the name of the animal and the recipe!


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