temptation jokes

funny temptation

Funny temptation jokes

 

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was braless. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a pleasant view. She never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."

I was stunned- frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. She pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test, we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in the car!

 

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

 

A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that he's going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. A few weeks after he gets there he really starts to miss his new wife, so he writes her a letter.

"My darling," he writes, "it looks like we're going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and we're constantly surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptation's terrible. I need some kind of hobby to keep my mind off them."

His wife sends him back a harmonica with a note reading, "Why don't you learn to play this?"

Eventually his tour of duty comes to an end and he rushes back to his wife.

"Darling" he says, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!"

But she stops him with a wave of her hand. "First, let's see how well you play that harmonica."

 

Doctor, I keep stealing things. What can I do?

Try to resist the temptation, but if you can't, get me a new television.

 

A couple were on their honeymoon, laying in bed, ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband: 
I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin.
The husband replies, Yeah, well, that's no big thing in this day and age.
The wife continues, Yeah, I’ve been with one other guy.
Oh yeah? Who was the guy?
Tiger Woods.
Tiger Woods, the golfer?
Yeah.
Well he’s rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him.
The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they finish, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
What are you doing? says the wife.
I'm hungry. I was going to call room service and get some food.
Tiger wouldn’t do that.
Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?
He’d come back to bed and do it a second time.
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love to his wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
What are you doing now? she says.
I'm still hungry so I was going to ring room service and order some food.
Tiger wouldn’t do that.
Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?
He’d come back to bed and do it one more time.
The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife one more time. When they finish he’s tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, are you calling room service?
No! I’m calling Tiger Woods to find out what’s par for this damned hole!

 

 

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