oil jokes

Funny jokes about oil


What should we do with crude oil?

Teach it some manners of course!


What they're going to do is they're going to suck all of that oil that's leaking into the gulf and pump it up into a tanker. Now the bad news is the tanker is the Exxon Valdez.


Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, and now  was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had muchambition. The successful one said, "How has everything been going with you?""Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush. Thenanother day I dropped my finger on another word and it was gold. So, Iinvested in gold and those mines really produced. Now, I'm as rich as Rockefeller." The successful friend was so impressed that he rushed to his hotel, grabbed aGideon Bible, flipped it open, and dropped his finger on a page.He opened his eyes and his finger rested on the words, "Chapter Eleven."


Q: How do you know that the Gulf Oil Spill has gotten out of control?

A: When BP has put more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders!


Q: "What's worse than spilling your 20 drink on the floor?"

A: "Spilling 100 million gallons of oil into the gulf of Mexico!"


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