Funny jokes about losers
The Winner is always part of the answer;
The Loser is always part of the problem.
The Winner says, "It may be difficult, but it is possible";
The Loser says, "It may be possible, but it is too difficult".
Smart man + Smart woman = love
Dumb man + smart woman = fur, diamond, jewelry … etc.
Smart man + dumb woman = a crush
Dumb man + dumb woman = marriage
A successful man makes much more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is the one that finds such a man.
A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."
A small company was on the brink of bankruptcy, so the owner came up with a sales incentive program to help motivate his salesmen.
Calling his two-man sales force into his office, he announced, "Things aren't looking good and unless we increase our sales, we won't be in operation much longer. In light of this, I have come up with a a contest for you. The guy with the highest sales will receive a blow job."
"What does the loser get?" asked one of the salesmen.
"The loser," replied the owner, glaring at both men, "gets to give it!"
A woman who is tired of having a guy hit on her says, "Look ... I'm sorry, but I'm just not your type. I'm not inflatable"