knee jokes

Funny jokes about the knee

 

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.

With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: ''I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but women in general...and all in the name of humor!''

The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells, ''You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!''

 

Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton?

A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.

 

Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"

The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Mr. Johnson, just how old are you?"

"98!" Johnson announced proudly.

The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again.. .

Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You're practically one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?"

The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it don't hurt!"

 

Q: What did the prositutes knee say to the other?

A: Nothing. They have never met.

 

Q: Why did the guy with a broken knee drive into the ditch?

A: To turn the blinker off.

Kneeling in the confessional, the girl said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is it, child?" the priest asked.

"I have committed the sin of vanity, Father," she replied. "Numerous times a day, I gaze upon myself in the mirror and tell myself how gorgeous I am."

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "I have good news for you, my child. That isn't a sin... it's merely a mistake."

 

there's an old man kneeling beside his bed. his wife walks in and ask what he's doing.  he says, "praying for guidance''. she then says, "pray for stiffness and I will guide it myself"

 

''Please, get up! You're kneeling on my oxygen hose!''

 

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave.

The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"

The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, "My wife's first husband."

 

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