god jokes

Funny jokes about god

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

 

 

Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

How do you make God laugh? Say: "This is mine".

 

A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her.

He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind-hearted?"

The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."

"Why did you make her so good-looking?"

"So you could love her, my son."

"Why did you make her such a good cook?"

"So you could love her, my son."

The man thought about this. Then he said, "I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but ... why did you make her so stupid?"

"So she could love you, my son."

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

 

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

 

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

 

Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

God Loves Blondes

The little girl came in tears to her mother

      "God doesn't love me," she sobbed.

      "Of course, God loves you," the mother declared. "How did you ever come to get such an idea?" "No," the child persisted, "He doesn't love me. I know--I tried Him with a daisy."

 

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