fruit jokes


Funny fruit jokes


Q. What is a vampire's favourite fruit?

A. A neck-tarine!


Q: What fruit swings in the trees?

A: Tarzan the grapeman


Q: What's red and green & wears boxing gloves?

A: A fruit punch!


Q: What school subject is the fruitiest?

A: History – because it is full of dates


Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?

He couldn’t concentrate!


These three men went out on this fishing trip, but as they we sailing along in their little boat, a storm picked up and swept them onto a rather small island.

Now the men weren't scared at first, but when they saw these cannibals chasing after them, they began to run for their lives. The cannibals were much faster than they were, and so they captured the three men, and brought them to their King.

The King said, "I want each of you to pick 10 fruits. Each man must collect a different fruit as to that of the other two. Once you have done this, return to me, and I will tell you what to do."

So the men, fearing their lives, run out and began to search madly for any fruit. The first man returns after a while with 10 apples. The King grinned wickedly and said, "Now you must take those 10 apples and shove them up your *ss without making any facial expression. If you fail to do so, I will kill you!"

The poor man gets up to number 8 and then screams, as the pain was so intense. The King killed him right then and there, and returned to see the second man coming back with 10 strawberries. The second man got his instructions, too, and was up to the 10th strawberry, when all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, he begins laughing hysterically. So the King killed him, too, just as he did with the first man.

Now the first man and the second man meet up in Heaven, and the first man asks the second man, "Why did you laugh? You were on your last strawberry, and you could have gotten away!"

The second man said with a little smile, "Yeah, I know, but I couldn't resist laughing when I saw the third man coming back with pineapples!"


Q) What is King Kong's favorite food?

A) Ape-ricots!



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