disgusting jokes

Funny disgusting jokes

 

A man comes home drunk one night and so he doesn't get into too much trouble he decides to orally satisfy his wife. He goes under the covers and does the deed. Afterwards, he decides to wash the unpleasant taste from his mouth and goes to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet seat is his wife. "How the hell did you beat me into the bathroom?" He asks amazed. "SHHHH!" She replied "Quiet, you'll wake mother. She's spending the night!"

 

What's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator?

The frig don't fart when you pull the meat out!

 

What is the definition of revenge?

A baby with a dog in its mouth.

 

What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet?                   

After you use a toilet it doesn't follow you around for three days.

 

Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?

A: "I feel like a kid again."

 

A man went to the doctor and said - "Doctor, whenever I fart there's no smell". The doctor asked he man if he could do one there and then, which the man did, very loudly. The doctor sniffed a few times, said - "Yes, I think I know what the problem is", went out of the surgery for a moment and came back with a very long stick with a hook on the end. The man became very frightened and asked - "Doctor, what are you going to do with that thing?", to which the doctor replied - "I'm going to open the window - you've got something wrong with your nose!".

 

Whats the best thing about fucking pregnant girls???

you get pussy and head at the same time.

 

How is anal sex and spinach the same?

If you are forced to have either as a kid, you won't enjoy them as an adult.

 

What's the worst stain to try and remove from little boy's underpants?

Michael Jackson's makeup.

 

Why did Pepsi sign up Michael Jackson for their ads?

Because he likes the taste of a new generation.

 

A man comes home drunk one night and so he doesn't get into too much trouble he decides to orally satisfy his wife. He goes under the covers and does the deed. Afterwards, he decides to wash the unpleasant taste from his mouth and goes to the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet seat is his wife. "How the hell did you beat me into the bathroom?" He asks amazed. "SHHHH!" She replied "Quiet, you'll wake mother. She's spending the night!"

 

how do you know that a blonde has been in your car?

The gear shift is wet!!!!

 

Q:What's green and eats nuts?

A:Ghonnorhea

 

What's the difference between a female marine and a zebra??

A zebra doesn't have to lay on it's back to earn it's stripes.

 

Guy takes his wife to the Doctor...

The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS."

"What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?"

"Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."

 

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