Funny jokes about deaf people
Two Deaf men are signing to each other.
The first man asks, "What did your wife say when you got home late last night?
The second man replies, "She swore a blue streak"
And the first man asks, "What did you do then?"
And the second man replies, "I turned out the light."
An older man had serious hearing problems for many years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the man to hear 100%.
The old man went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The man replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
Why did God make farts smell?
So Deaf people could enjoy them too.
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
A deaf couple check into a motel. They retire early. In the middle of the night, the wife wakes her husband complaining of a headache and asks him to go to the car and get some aspirin from the glove compartment. Groggy with sleep, he struggles to get up, puts on his robe, and goes out of the room to his car. He finds the aspirin, and with the bottle in hand he turns toward the motel. But he cannot remember which room is his. After thinking a moment, he returns to the car, places his hand on the horn, holds it down, and waits. Very quickly the motel rooms light up, all but one. It's his wife's room, of course. He locks up his car and heads toward the room without a light.
A man marries a deaf girl.
He mimes: "Let's make a code: if I want sex, I will squeeze your breast.
In response, you can pull my penis once for Yes, and 50 times for No"!