bikini jokes

bikini jokes

Funny bikini jokes


Attention all female Facebook users:

Do not name an album "Summer!" if there is no pictures of you in a bikini in it. You are wasting my time!


an old man went to a beach and say a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy, juicy boobs?"

The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man."

the guy said," twenty dollars?"


"one hundred dollars?"


"two hunderd dollars?"


"five hundred dollars?"

the girl thought, what harm can it do? "sure"

the girl loosened her bikini and the man slipped his hand in her bikini.

while feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, the guy said, "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD"

the girl said,"why do you keep saying OH MY GOD?

while continuing feeling her sexy, juicy boobs, he said "OH MY GOD, where am i going to get five hundred dollars?"


A 16-year-old girl bought herself a very tiny bikini. Very proud, she came home and put it on. She then showed her mother how she looked in it.

"What do you think mom?" she asked.

Her mother replied, "If I wore that when I was your age, you would be 5 years older."


A shapely lady in a bikini walked into the ocean to take a swim. Alarge wave came up and washed over her, tearing off her bikini top.She came out of the surf with her arms folded across her chest.Little Johnny, playing in the sand looked up at her and said,"Lady, if you're going to drown those puppies, I'll take the one with the brown nose."


A woman goes to a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she would like to have a turkey tattooed on her right thigh, just below her bikini line. She also wants the words Happy Thanksgiving under the turkey.

The artist does what the woman wants and it comes out looking really good.

She thens tells him that she wants a Santa tattooed on her left thigh, just below her bikini line, with the words Merry Christmas under it.

The artist does what the woman wants and it turns out well too.

As she's getting dressed to leave, the artists says, "Lady, forgive me for asking, but why did you have me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?"

"Well, I'm sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there's nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas!" she replies.


How do men exercise on the beach?


By sucking in their stomach every time they see a bikini.



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