Tottenham jokes

Funny jokes about tottenham hotspur


Q. What do Tottenham football and an online casino have in common?

A. Nothing. At an online casino they win once in a while!


“I met this really kinky girl last night. ‘Humiliate me,’ she said … So I bought her a Tottenham shirt!”


A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog one Saturday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner, “Liverpool 2, Tottenham Hotspur 1,” reads the announcer in his normal, rather sedate, voice.


Suddenly the Jack Russell dog jumps up and shouts out, “Oh, no, not again.”

The shocked landlord says, “That’s amazing. Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?”

“Because he’s a Spurs supporter,” the dog’s owner replies.

The landlord then asked what the dog says when Tottenham win a match, to which the man replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only had him three years.”


Apparently the entire Tottenham squad have been busy honing their skills playing the computer game Championship Manager. Sadly it seems the manager misunderstood and thinks they want to play for a Championship manager!


Madonna is the new favourite to be the next manager of Tottenham Hotspur... she's managed to keep clean sheets for the last 18 months.


After leaving San Siro, Jose Mourinho was asked if he was going to help Spurs get out of their slump. He turned around and said, "No way, I ain't that special".


Police investigations have discovered he was wearing a spurs shirt, a mini skirt, high heels and fishnet stockings. He had a deflated blow up doll on his reproductive area and a sex toy in his rectum.

Police have removed the Tottenham shirt to avoid embarrassment to his family.

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