Notre Dame jokes

Notre Dame jokes

Q: How do you get a Notre Dame graduate off your front porch?

A: Give him pizza money.


Q: Do you know why they couldn’t have a nativity scene at Notre Dame?

A: They couldn’t find three wise men or a virgin.

Q: What did the ND football player get on his final exam? 
A: Drool. 

Q: What's the difference between the Notre Dame cheerleaders and the Titanic? 
A: Only a couple thousand people went down on the titanic. 

A fellow walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender if he'd like to hear a good Notre Dame joke.


"Listen buddy," he growled. "See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Notre Dame football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at Notre Dame. That guy in the corner was Notre Dame's all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at Notre Dame. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"


"Nah, guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times."

Q: What do you call a 250 lb Notre Dame Cheerleader?

A: Anorexic.

Q: What do you get when you lock 32 Notre Dame Cheerleaders together in one room?

A: One full set of teeth.

A man is watching the Notre Dame-Navy game on television at a bar with his dog. Navy kicks a field goal and the dog starts barking. A bit later, the Midshipmen score a touchdown and the dog barks like crazy. Another man says to the dog’s owner, “Wow, your dog must love Navy. What does he do when Navy beats Notre Dame?” To which the dog’s owner replied, “I don’t know. I’ve only had him 11 years.”

The Notre Dame fan was complaining to his friend about his wife. He said, “My wife thinks I put the Fighting Irish ahead of our marriage. I disagree. We just celebrated our fourth season together.”



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