North Carolina jokes

Funny jokes about North Carolina

 

 

Why do folks in North Carolina go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

 

A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an North Carolina fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No, this is a hardware store."

 

A guy walks down the street and trips over an old oil lamp. As he picks it up, a genie pops out and says, "I will grant you one wish."

The surprised man says, "I want to live in a mansion in North Carolina, but I am afraid of boats and planes, so I want there to be a bridge from here to there."

The genie sighs, "That's too much work. Sorry, can't make it happen."

The man says, "Fine, then I want to understand women."

The genie replies, "Would you like two lanes or four on that bridge?"

 

 

An insurance salesman was in the North Carolina backwoods calling on customers when he came across a house behind a large field. Making his way to the home he noticed a man in the field getting it on with a sheep. The sight disgusted him but he proceeded to the house.

The salesman knocked on the door when a young boy answered.

"Can I help ya mister?"

"Well, to be honest with you, I am here to sell you insurance but on the way in, I noticed a stranger in your field harassing one of your sheep!"

"Its ok " said the boy, "Thats just my daaa a a a a aaaaaad."

 

Why didn't Jesus come from North Carolina?

Ain't no wisemen, ain't no virgins.

 

A guy from North Carolina passed away and left his entire estate to his

beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

 

Q: What do both North Carolina fans and maggots have in common?

A: They can both live off a dead bear for years.

 

 

How to impress woman in North Carolina kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her.

How to impress a man in North Carolina: Show up naked with beer.

 

Q. Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University  of North Carolina ?

A. Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.

 

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in North Carolina burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.

 

Q: How do you know you are in North Carolina?

A: When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!

 

Never go to bed angry in North Carolina, stay awake and plot your revenge.

 

Q: How many North Carolina fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: About 75,000. One to change the bulb, and 74,999 to stand around and talk about how great the old one used to be.

 

Women in North Carolina may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

 

Q: Did you hear about the $4,000,000 North Carolina State Lottery?

A: The winner gets $4 a year for a million years.

 

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