New Jersey jokes

Funny jokes about New Jersey


Q: What do both New Jersey fans and maggots have in common?

A: They can both live off a dead bear for years.


Why didn't Jesus come from New Jersey?

Ain't no wisemen, ain't no virgins


How to impress woman in New Jersey kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her.

How to impress a man in New Jersey: Show up naked with beer.


Did you hear that the governor's mansion in New Jersey burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.


Q: How many New Jersey fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: About 75,000. One to change the bulb, and 74,999 to stand around and talk about how great the old one used to be.

A guy from New Jersey passed away and left his entire estate to his

beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.


Q. Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University  of New Jersey ?

A. Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.



Q: How do you know you are in New Jersey?

A: When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!


An insurance salesman was in the New Jersey backwoods calling on customers when he came across a house behind a large field. Making his way to the home he noticed a man in the field getting it on with a sheep. The sight disgusted him but he proceeded to the house.

The salesman knocked on the door when a young boy answered.

"Can I help ya mister?"

"Well, to be honest with you, I am here to sell you insurance but on the way in, I noticed a stranger in your field harassing one of your sheep!"

"Its ok " said the boy, "Thats just my daaa a a a a aaaaaad."


Women in New Jersey may not hit harder, but they hit lower.


Never go to bed angry in New Jersey, stay awake and plot your revenge.


Why do folks in New Jersey go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.


A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an New Jersey fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No, this is a hardware store."


Q: Did you hear about the $4,000,000 New Jersey State Lottery?

A: The winner gets $4 a year for a million years.

A guy walks down the street and trips over an old oil lamp. As he picks it up, a genie pops out and says, "I will grant you one wish."

The surprised man says, "I want to live in a mansion in New Jersey, but I am afraid of boats and planes, so I want there to be a bridge from here to there."

The genie sighs, "That's too much work. Sorry, can't make it happen."

The man says, "Fine, then I want to understand women."

The genie replies, "Would you like two lanes or four on that bridge?"


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