Mexican jokes

Mexican jokes

 

 

 

What do you call one Mexican on the moon? A problem. What do you call two mexicans on the moon? A bigger problem. What do you call all of the mexicans on the moon?

 

Problem solved

 

 

 

If there was a maze with with a million dollars in the center who do you think would win: the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a smart mexican, or dumb mexican?

 

The dumb mexican, the rest don't exist.

 

 

 

An Arab, Frenchman, American and a Mexican are riding down the highway. The Arab picks up an AK-47. He shoots a couple of rounds and then throws the gun out the window. The American asks him why he through the gun out the window and the Arab says they have so many of those where he is from he doesn't care about what happens to them.

 

The Frenchman picks up a bottle of wine and drinks a little and throws it out the window. The American asks him why he tossed it. The Frenchman says they have so much of it where he is from he doesn't care what happens to it.

 

The American picks up the Mexican and throws him out the window.

 

 

 

Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican."

 

 

 

A Chinese guy, American guy and Mexican guy were in a sinking boat. The Chinese guy says, "I haf idea. We trow what we no need to make chip come back up."

 

So the Chinese guy throws rice off the boat, "We haf enough of dees in my cantry".

 

The Mexican guy throws out beans, "We haf enuf of dis in my contry".

 

So the American guy throws out the Mexican. The Chinese guy asks, "Why you trow hem out?".

 

The American guy says, "We got enough of them in our country".

 

 

 

what do white people and fences have in common?

they both get jumped by mexicans

 

What did the Mexican say to the house that fell on him?

Get off me homes…

 

What do you call a Mexican without a lawn mower?

Unemployed.

 

How do you get 100 Mexicans is a phone booth?

Throw food stamps in it.

 

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?

I don’t know but it could pick lettuce good.

 

What do you call a pool with a Mexican in it?

Bean Dip.

 

What kind of cans are there in Mexico?

Mexicans.

 

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What do you call Mexican basketball?

Juan on Juan.

 

Did you hear about the winner of the Mexican beauty contest?

Me neither!

 

Why don’t Mexicans cross the border in 3′s?

Because it says no trespassing!

 

What do you call a midget Mexican?

Paragraph because he is to short to be an essay.

 

What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?

Chase after him, it’s probably yours!

 

What is it when a Mexican is taking a shower?

A miracle.

 

What is the greatest Mexican invention?

A solar powered flash light.

 

What kind of cans are there in Mexico?

Mexicans.

 

What were the 2 Mexican Firefighting Brother’s names?

Hose A and Hose B

 

What’s the difference between a bench and a Mexican?

A bench can support a family

 

Why are Mexicans so short?

They all live in basement apartments.

 

Why are Mexicans so short?

When they’re young, their parents say, “When you get bigger you have to get a good job.”

 

Why can’t Mexicans be firemen?

They can’t tell the difference between Jose and hose b

 

Why do Mexicans drive low riders?

They are too short to get into any other type of car.

 

Why do Mexicans re-fry their beans?

Have you seen a Mexican do anything right the first time?

 

Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?

Any Mexican that can run jump or swim is in the US!

 

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

Cuatro Cinco

 

What do you call a Mexican driving a BMW?

Grand Theft Auto.

 

What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Roberto

 

Why don’t Mexicans BBQ?

The beans fall through the little holes.

 

Why wasn’t Jesus born in Mexico?

He couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

 

What do Mexicans and vending machines have in common?

They both take your money and don’t work.

 

Why do Mexicans wear pointed boots?

Because it makes it easier to get over a fence.

 

How do you keep Mexicans from stealing?

Put everything on the top shelf.

What Do You Call 10 Mexicans In A Truck?

One Short Of Full.

 

What do Mexicans and sperm have in common?

Only one in a million works

 

What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black person?

Somebody too lazy to steal.

 

What do you do when a Mexican is riding a bike?

Chase after him, it’s probably yours!

 

What are the first 3 words in the Mexican national anthem?

Attention Wal-Mart shoppers…

 

What do you call a Mexican picking cotton?

Confused

 

Why is there so little Mexican literature?

Spray point wasn’t invented until 1950.

 

Why Did The Mexican Cross The Road?

To Get From Abco To The Orange Groves.

 

Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because any Mexican that can run, jump, or swim is in the U.S.

 

Did you hear about the winner of the Mexican beauty contest?

Me neither!

 

Why don’t Mexicans have checking accounts?

It’s hard to spray paint your name on the signature line

 

How do you figure out the population of Mexico?

Drop a peso on the ground

 

How do you get a Mexican out of a bath tub?

Toss in a bar of soap

 

Why don’t Mexicans play hide and seek?

Because no one will look for them!

 

There were three men, a Mexican, Serbian, and a Russian, on a plane along with a fat woman and 3 parachutes. The plane started going down, and the 3 men grabbed the parachutes.

The Mexican jumped out yelling, “God bless Mexico!”

The Serbian jumped out and screamed, “God bless Serbia!”

The Russian jumped out yelling, “God bless mother Russia!”

The fat woman jumped out without a parachute and yelled, “God bless whoever I land on!”

What iz the difference between a Mexican & an elevator?

 

1 can raise a child.

 

 

 

How do u find out the population of Mexico?

 

Drop a peso on the ground.

 

 

 

Did u hear about the winner of the Mexican beauty contest?

 

Me neither.

 

 

 

What's a mexican's favorite sport?

 

cross country

 

 

 

How does u stop a Mexican frm robbing ur house?

 

Put up a help-wanted sign

 

 

 

2 mexicans r in a car, who iz driving?

 

A cop

 

 

 

Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team?

 

Any Mexican that can run jump or swim iz in the US!

 

 

 

Q: What do u get when u cross a Mexican & an Iranian?

 

A: Oil of Ole

 

 

 

How do u stop a Mexican tank?

 

Shoot the guy pushing it.

 

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What do Mexicans pick in the off season?

 

Their nose.

 

 

 

Why do Mexicans drive low riders?

 

They r 2 short 2 get in 2 any other type of car.

 

 

 

What do u call a Mexican driving a BMW?

 

Grand Theft Auto.

 

 

 

Why do Mexicans buy Cabbage Patch dolls?

 

Because they come with birth certificates.

 

 

 

A bunch of Mexicans r running down a hill, what iz going on?

 

A Prison Break.

 

 

 

Why cant mexicans play uno?

 

Because they always steal the green card.

 

 

 

What do u call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

 

Cuatro Cinco.

 

 

 

What do u call a pool with a mexican in it?

 

Bean Dip.

 

 

 

What iz the greatest Mexican invention?

 

A solar powered flash light.

 

 

 

What does u call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

 

Roberto

 

 

 

Why don't Mexicans BBQ?

 

The beans fall through the little holes.

 

 

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