Landlord jokes

Funny jokes about the landlords

A man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the

apartment over his. "Many a night they stamp on the floor

and shout till midnight."

  When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied,

"Not really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet

till about that time most every night anyway."

What do you get if you cross a Landlord with a Weasel?

Answer: Absolutely no changes occur whatsoever.

What do Landlords do for fun?

Answer: How would I know? ...I haven't even seen mine in the past 10 months.

A kangaroo hops into a pub and orders a pint of beer. The landlord says, "That'll be £5.50 please. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here."

The kangaroo says, "I'm not surprised at £5.50 a pint!"

How many landlords does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One.  One landlord holds it and the whole world revolves around him.

How do you save a drowning landlord?

Take your foot off his head

What do UFO’s and honest landlords have in common?

You hear about them but you never see them.

Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live chickens.


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