Florida jokes

Funny jokes about Florida

 

 

Q. Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University  of Florida ?

A. Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.

 

Q: Did you hear about the $4,000,000 Florida State Lottery?

A: The winner gets $4 a year for a million years.

 

An insurance salesman was in the Florida backwoods calling on customers when he came across a house behind a large field. Making his way to the home he noticed a man in the field getting it on with a sheep. The sight disgusted him but he proceeded to the house.

The salesman knocked on the door when a young boy answered.

"Can I help ya mister?"

"Well, to be honest with you, I am here to sell you insurance but on the way in, I noticed a stranger in your field harassing one of your sheep!"

"Its ok " said the boy, "Thats just my daaa a a a a aaaaaad."

 

Q: How many Florida fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: About 75,000. One to change the bulb, and 74,999 to stand around and talk about how great the old one used to be.

 

 

A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an Florida fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No, this is a hardware store."

 

A guy from Florida passed away and left his entire estate to his

beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

 

Why didn't Jesus come from Florida?

Ain't no wisemen, ain't no virgins.

 

Why do folks in Florida go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

 

 

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Florida burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.

 

Q: What do both Florida fans and maggots have in common?

A: They can both live off a dead bear for years.

 

Q: How do you know you are in Florida?

A: When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!

 

Never go to bed angry in Florida, stay awake and plot your revenge.

How to impress woman in Florida kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her.

How to impress a man in Florida: Show up naked with beer.

 

 

Women in Florida may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

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