Cristiano Ronaldo jokes

Cristiano Ronaldo jokes

The boy takes after his father - he dribbles constantly

No need to buy any baby oil. Dad's got loads.

Cristiano can't wait for baby to take his first faltering step-overs.

Ronaldo can't wait for the kid's first day at school, on which he'll grass up Kai Rooney for stamping on Ricardo Carvalho Jnr.

Now there will be more than one dummy in the Cristiano Ronaldo house.

Cristiano Ronaldo:"God sent me to this earth to show people how to play football." Leo Messi:"I never sent anyone."

After smashing his Ferrari up, police questioned Ronaldo about the incident. He blamed it on the wall not being 10 yards back.

Witnesses at the scene of the Ronaldo crash say he was only lightly tapped by a car from behind, when all of the sudden the car flipped over and rolled ten times. It then span around on the spot for two minutes, then all the wheels fell off and it caught fire.

Ronaldo said the road was oily, maybe he have dropped his gel on the road hahahhaah!!

Looks like Ronaldo's using his free-kick technique in his car and sent it straight into the wall

did you know he has a kid on the way? The crying, the temper tantrums… the baby’s never going to get any rest with all that racket coming from dad’s room

Rooney, Ronaldo and Ferdinand are all brought up to heaven as god wants to know there beliefs about football.

God asks Rooney 'What do you believe in?'
Rooney says 'Well, I believe in the joys of football and it doesnt matter whether you win or lose, it's just playing the game that counts'
God agrees and gives Rooney the seat on his right hand side.

God then asks Ferdinand 'What do you believe in?'
Ferdinand says 'I believe that when you step onto that football pitch nothing else matter's to you'
Yet again god agrees and gives Ferdinand the seat on his left.

God then peers over to Ronaldo and asks 'What do you believe in son?'
Ronaldo says 'Well sir, I believe that you are sitting in my seat'


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