Chicago Bears jokes

Funny jokes about Chicago Bears


Q: How hard did the Chicago Bears hit Brett Favre before he left the game with a concussion?

A: So hard he sent a girl a picture of himself with his pants on!


Q: What's the difference between the Chicago Bears & the Taliban?

A: The Taliban has a running game!


Q. How do you keep a Chicago Bears player out of your yard? 
A. Put up goal posts.


Q. Why doesn't Rockford have a professional football team? 
A. Because then Chicago would want one.


Q: What do you call 53 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?

A: The Chicago Bears


Q: What do the Chicago Bears and possums have in common?

A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!


Q: What do the Chicago Bears and Billy Graham have in common?

A: They both c an make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ!".


A Packers fan in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Wanna hear a joke about the Bears?"

The guy next to him replies, "Well before you tell that joke you should know something. I'm 6' tall and 220 pounds and I'm a Bears fan. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2" tall, 240 pounds and he's a Bears fan, and the guy sitting next to him is 6'5", 280 pounds and he's a Bears fan, too. Now, do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The Packers fan says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it three times."


The Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Lovie Smith immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE. Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.


Q) Where do the Bears go in case of a tornado?

A) Soldier Field. They rarely have a touchdown there!


Q) Why was Jay Cutler upset when the Bears playbook was stolen?

A) Because he hadn't finished coloring in it!


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