California jokes

Funny jokes about California


Q: Did you hear about the $4,000,000 California State Lottery?

A: The winner gets $4 a year for a million years.


Q. Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University  of California ?

A. Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.


Q: How many California fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: About 75,000. One to change the bulb, and 74,999 to stand around and talk about how great the old one used to be.


An insurance salesman was in the California backwoods calling on customers when he came across a house behind a large field. Making his way to the home he noticed a man in the field getting it on with a sheep. The sight disgusted him but he proceeded to the house.

The salesman knocked on the door when a young boy answered.

"Can I help ya mister?"

"Well, to be honest with you, I am here to sell you insurance but on the way in, I noticed a stranger in your field harassing one of your sheep!"

"Its ok " said the boy, "Thats just my daaa a a a a aaaaaad."


Why didn't Jesus come from California?

Ain't no wisemen, ain't no virgins.


Why do folks in California go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.


A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an California fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No, this is a hardware store."


A guy from California passed away and left his entire estate to his

beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.


Q: What do both California fans and maggots have in common?

A: They can both live off a dead bear for years.


Did you hear that the governor's mansion in California burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.


How to impress woman in California kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her.

How to impress a man in California: Show up naked with beer.


Q: How do you know you are in California?

A: When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!


Never go to bed angry in California, stay awake and plot your revenge.


Women in California may not hit harder, but they hit lower.




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