Brazilian jokes

Funny jokes about Brazilian


A tourist was being led through the jungles of Brazil.

"Is it true," he asked, "that a crocodile won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"

"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."


A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says,

"Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying and says to her husband while sobbing

"That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"

Confused the husband replies "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."



After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says,

"... So how many is a Brazilian?"


A Social Worker visits an elderly lady once a week to check that she is OK. As she is about to leave the old lady asks the Social Worker “Do you like Brazil Nuts?”

“Oh yes” replies the Social Worker, and the old lady gives her a paper bag full of shelled Brazil Nuts – beautiful tasty white Brazil Nuts.

The following week the same thing happens again – the old lady gives the Social Worker a bag of Brazil Nuts, which she takes to work and shares with her colleagues. This goes on week after week.

One week the Social Worker asks: “If you don’t like Brazil Nuts, why do you keep buying them?”

The old lady replies: “My son buys them for me, but I have no teeth. So I just suck the chocolate and put them back in the bag”.


What are Brazilian fans called?

Brazil nuts!


This redneck cowboy from the South of Brazil, a "gaucho", was standing at the bar with a guy from central Brazil, from Minas Gerais State.


" Down South we are men, real men, 100% men!"

" Mmmm," goes the guy from Minas, "interesting…. Well in my neck of the woods we are 50% men and 50% women, and we really like it that way!"


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