Boston jokes

Funny jokes about Boston

I just got back from a pleasure trip from Boston. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.



Q: How do you know you are in Boston?

A: When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!


When I was a kid in Boston I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.


How to impress woman in Boston kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her.

How to impress a man in Boston: Show up naked with beer.


Girls think boys are fit in Boston. Boys think girls are sexy in Boston. But hey, no worries – I am sure science will come up with something to help you.


Q: Why do people from Boston keep their driver's license on their dashboards?

A: So they can park in handicap spaces.


Q: How do people in Boston vote?

A: Early and often! 


There is only one perfect wife in the world and every Boston neighbor has it.


I was born in Boston so was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. 


I thought I wanted a career in Boston, turns out I just wanted paychecks.


Never go to bed angry in Boston, stay awake and plot your revenge.


Boston is such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, ‘I’d like a card.’ He said, ‘You have to prove you're a citizen of Boston.’ So I stabbed him.


Treat each day as your last in Boston; one day you will be right. 


I know the guy who writes all those bumper stickers. He hates Boston .


Q: What's the only thing that grows in Boston ?

A: The Crime Rate!


Women in Boston may not hit harder, but they hit lower.


My wife and I went back to Boston where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.


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