Alaska jokes

Funny jokes about Alaska

 

Q: Did you hear about the $4,000,000 Alaska State Lottery?

A: The winner gets $4 a year for a million years.

 

Q. Why did they build the Mercedes plant so close to the University  of Alaska ?

A. Because they have an endless supply of crash test dummies right down the road.

 

Q: How many Alaska fans does it take to change a light bulb?

A: About 75,000. One to change the bulb, and 74,999 to stand around and talk about how great the old one used to be.

 

An insurance salesman was in the Alaska backwoods calling on customers when he came across a house behind a large field. Making his way to the home he noticed a man in the field getting it on with a sheep. The sight disgusted him but he proceeded to the house.

The salesman knocked on the door when a young boy answered.

"Can I help ya mister?"

"Well, to be honest with you, I am here to sell you insurance but on the way in, I noticed a stranger in your field harassing one of your sheep!"

"Its ok " said the boy, "Thats just my daaa a a a a aaaaaad."

 

Why didn't Jesus come from Alaska?

Ain't no wisemen, ain't no virgins.

 

Why do folks in Alaska go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?

'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

 

A man walks into a store says to the clerk, "I'd like a pair of red shoes, a white shirt, a pair of red pants, and a pair of white shoes." The clerk looks at him and shakes his head saying, "You must be an Alaska fan!" The man proclaims with pride, "How could you tell, was it the color scheme!" The clerk looks at him and says "No, this is a hardware store."

 

A guy from Alaska passed away and left his entire estate to his

beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'til she's 14.

 

Q: What do both Alaska fans and maggots have in common?

A: They can both live off a dead bear for years.

 

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Alaska burned down?

Almost took out the whole trailer park.

 

How to impress woman in Alaska kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her.

How to impress a man in Alaska: Show up naked with beer.

 

Q: How do you know you are in Alaska?

A: When you pull up to a red light, you roll up your windows!

 

Never go to bed angry in Alaska, stay awake and plot your revenge.

 

Women in Alaska may not hit harder, but they hit lower.

 

 

 

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